Monday, January 26, 2009
confessions of a modern day woman, I'm not superwoman.
I suffer depression. It's not a big secret, but I NEVER say it to myself. Somehow I would rather have three noses than be a commercial for menopausal, whiney, drab, depressed women.
It's not a hard thing to figure. Women are under tremendous pressure to never age, to make more money, to have perfect children,to have perfectly decorated forever clean houses, to cook like Rachel Ray. And on and on and on. Then there is me. I'm real. About as real as anyone gets.
Over the weekend I fixed my new clock up with family pics. It's one of those that has a slot for each hour to put in a picture of someone. Of course it's a grandchildren clock now. But the darned thing wouldn't start after I put in a new battery. My son and my husband both walked in the room and said at the same time, "she put the battery in upside down." Did I? Yup. I sure did. I'm so perfectly imperfect and so hysterically funny in my ding-iness, even I laugh at me. Laughter which of course causes major eye corner wrinkles. Oh well...
Back to the depression thing. There are days it's a struggle to get dressed. Going outside requires a lot of willpower. I see someone. He's a great doctor and I have every belief that someday I'll be ok again. All I really need is a little psychotherapy and some estrogen and some chocolate.
So now that Deb has opened doors for self evaluation, I wanted to be real. Sometimes I think I'm alone, but then I realize I'm not. The world is full of women like me who battle inner demons. It's so overwhelming to realize Our Lord is bigger than all of them. So, for today, I'll suit up, grab my cape and carry on. How about you???